


Brother

by RagChinaDoll



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2018-10-16 11:02:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10569972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagChinaDoll/pseuds/RagChinaDoll
Summary: Benji has been withdrawn from the team working on a secret project that he refuses to talk about with any of them. Concern for their friend grows even more when they receive word from London that Benji is mixing with suspected cyber criminals. The team travel to England to learn just what Benji had been working on.





	1. Chase in the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Yea another WIP. Sorry I'm a twat and will get around to finishing my other works. Un beta'd so all mistakes are my own.

It was one of those nights that you would open a horror movie.

No stars graced the night sky leaving the air a thick black. So dark was the path ahead of him that he took each step with unsteady certainty. There was no usual numbing chill but still he pulled his coat tighter around his neck ignoring the slight discomfort it caused.

He began to introduce a skip to his step quickening his pace from a slow walk to a slight jog. If anyone where to pass him they would assume he was just like any other man wanting to be free of the darkness and the embracing grace of their beds. But to someone trained in body language they would see the panic in his step. The agitation in his feet as he hastened to reach a safe location.

His shadow’s footsteps grew closer.

Suspicions now confirmed he began to run. Sprinting across the estate grounds dodging sudden obstacles that appeared in front of him. He knew the man following him was dealing with the same problems as he but the man had something he didn’t. They knew the ground they where covering having been to this location several times before. This was not the same for him.

He tugged at the coat sleeves pulling the jacket from his back and throwing it behind him in hopes of slowing down his chaser. He didn’t chance a glance back knowing it would only slow himself down. Instead his attention was drawn to the door he was fast approaching.

Thrusting his hands into his trouser pockets, a silent sigh of relief left his lips as they came out holding a set of keys. He flipped though them until he came to the one he suspected would go with the lock.

Judging by the close sound of the steps behind him, he could only spare five seconds to open the door and enter the building before the man would catch up with him.

He all but slammed into the door as he skidded to a stop in front of it.

Before he could turn the key in the lock he was pulled away from the door. He staggered back a few steps only just recovering from the slight vertigo in time to miss the fist that flew towards him.

He managed to dodge the blow and the two that followed and struck out with one of his own. Unlike his clearly untrained attacker, he had years of training and practice behind the blow. He caught the man on the right cheek who gasped at the pain that speckled across his jaw. He followed the punch with another aiming for much the same location.

His intent wasn’t to cause harm, he just needed to slow the man down enough for him to put an end to this before it even began.

Which is why he would always regret his next move.

While still reeling from the two punches he had dealt, the man was doubled over trying to ease away the disorientation and not expecting the two hands to grasped onto his jacket or the knee that drove into his gut. Once, twice and then he released his hold and winced at the meat smack of the body hitting the floor.

He stumbled back, wiping the spit of his lips, taking deep panting breaths.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked almost tripping over his feet as he turned. He continued to stagger back to the door when he heard the echo of a gun.

He didn’t register the pain at first his mind still processing the sound. He placed his hand’s on his abdomen startled when they came away feeling wet. He looked down at them with squinted eyes shocked when he saw how red they had become.

He feel to the floor agony bursting to light and spreading across his entire body. His breaths came in socked gasps as he tried to comprehend what had just happened. Blood spilled out of the wound and trickled down staining his trousers.

He heard the footsteps behind him as he crumbled to the floor landing on his side with a sickening thud. His body ached. Burned from the blood loss and the cold ground cooled some of the painful sensations.

“I’m sorry Ben,” His brother spoke standing over him the gun heavy in his hand. “It’s you or me. I can’t-”

He didn’t hear the rest of the words as the whole area burst into painful sound. Red and blue lights flashed around them as his vision burned.

His last thought before he was pushed queitly into the sound darkness; He should have never returned to London. 


	2. Conversations and Walk outs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan has been tasked with finding out what's troubling Benji. He doesn't make the situation better.

Five days Earlier

For a man well versed in the arts of espionage, Ethan wasn’t being very discreet as he stood opposite the laboratory door watching his friend work inside.

It was the third week in a row that Benji had spent hidden away inside one of the small disused labs. He had told anyone who asked that he was working on a project that was near completion. Or that he preparing for a mission and needed the space alone. Or he was feeling unwell and just wanted the quite space. Each time there was a different answer, a different lie, and slowly concern grew and rumours spread until he found himself stood outside the lab’s stood. Too scared to even step too far inside the room.

“He’ll speak to you,” Brandt said beside him nodding his head towards the door.

A meeting had been called three days ago between himself, Brandt, Jane and Luther to share concerns and theories about what it could be troubling their mutual friend. They had come to the conclusion that it must be linked to recent events, something that he felt uncomfortable speaking about, for him to withdrew in such a fashion.

He had been surprised twice that day. The first surprise was discovering that it wasn’t one of the group who had called the meeting but in-fact Hunley who had arranged it. The second was that each of them, Hunley included, had taken the time to visit Benji to see if they could get him to talk or at least leave the room. He had discovered that each time they had visited they had felt with growing concern and more questions then when they arrived.

Ethan was the only one who hadn’t yet visited Benji. He’d lied and said he hadn’t been aware of the situation, he had only recently returned to the states after a much needed vacation time, and hadn’t found the time to drop by. The truth was he was reluctant to see his friend.

By the end of the meeting, it had been decided that Ethan would be the best choice to get some answers and maybe encourage Benji to seek help if he needed it. Ethan wasn’t sure if he was in fact the best choice for such a task. He had after all been avoiding Benji for he pass few weeks.

“Hang around,” he turned to Brandt looking away from the door for a few seconds. “He might need the two of us.”

Brandt nodding in understanding and watched Ethan as he walked towards the door.

Shaking his head as he made his way over, Ethan raised his hand and tapped on the door with the lightest touch so not to startle the man inside. Yet he it still happened. Benji, so focused on his work, jumped back in surprise at the sound. He took several seconds to compose himself before turning to the door with a puzzled expression on his face.

 

Without waiting for an invite, he opened the door and almost stumbled back at the strong scent of coffee that greeted him. As he stepped further into the room he took note of everything he could see. Empty take out cups scattered around the room many in the wast bin but most on the floor. A table situated in one corner of the room had what looked like several computers taken apart with pieces almost toppling over the edge. Pages upon pages took up most of the space on the table Benji was seated at, spread out from the edge like an opening flower. A spare jacket was hanging from a hook beside the door along with a bag half open.

Nobody had seen Benji leave the room so he expected that Benji was sleeping on base and judging by the battered sofa more than likely in this room.

It wasn’t healthy.

And Benji didn’t look healthy himself.

The last time he had seen Benji he was clean shaven and sharp looking. Now he looked unwell. In the few weeks between Benji seemed to have lost weight, not a dramatic lost but enough that his once tightly fitted shirts seemed to hang on him. He had grown an unusually untidy beard nothing akin to anything he had sported before. Above all, he looked tired and aged like he had moved quicker around the world than anyone else.

“Hi,” Benji’s voice was raw like he had been screaming for hours. “When’d you get back?”

Ethan rubbed nervously at the back of his neck as he replied taking small steps further into the room. “A few days ago. Haven’t had a moment to myself since being back.”

He was lying. True he had only been back a few days but he had had nothing but free time. Until all lose ends had been tied up, He along with anyone else involved with the Lane case where on non-active duty. It basically meant they where doing paper work, research, or personal projects. The thing was even if Benji was working on one such project he still had to log his time and account for his work. Benji hadn’t been. All they knew was he requested the room until further notice.

“How was the holiday?” Benji asked beginning to pick at the fraying edge of his shirt sleeve. He was trying hard not to show his discomfort at being alone with Ethan in a small room. He could still hear the last conversation the two shared ringing in his ear.

It wasn’t just because it was Ethan. Recently he had been feeling uncomfortable with anyone being too close to him. Ever since London.

“It was good. Managed to catch up with some old friends. Bit of rock climbing.”

“Sounds like you had fun,” Benji noted disenchanted.

A silence fell over the room. An uncomfortable silence that neither man knew how to fill.

Ethan wanted to give Benji the chance to express himself first. The chance to open up about what was causing him to become so isolated. He knew deep down that Benji wouldn’t speak to him not after what he had said the last time they spoke like this.

As the silence grew longer, Ethan walked to the side of Benji’s desk and leaned against it’s edge. He looked down at the pages spread across the table top picking one up and began reading what was printed. Most of the other pages, much like the one he held, where of printed out code. Something that was normal for Benji to study in his free time. A lot of the pages had annotations in Benji’s rushed handwriting.

Before he had the chance to finishing reading the page he had picked up, Benji noticed his interest in his work and snatched it from his hands. He pulled the other sheets on the desk into a messy pile and stuffed them into shoulder bag next to the laptop on the desk. Before the page had been snatched away from him, Ethan caught a few words that made his confusion grow.

The words that he had managed to catch didn’t make much sense to him. ‘The Uprising’ sounded like a new age band of some kind. Another word, one he found troubling, was scribbled in Benji’s rushed handwriting. ‘Rabbit’s foot.’

He could recall with slight unease how Benji had told him the story of an anti God. It was something that drove fear deep into his heart in a moment of complete unease.

“Benji we’re worried about you?”

At first Ethan confused Benji’s reaction with surprise and not the true emotion that it was. Anger.

“Do you not think I can take care of myself?” he snarled slowly with so much bitterness that Ethan almost felt it as hard as a punch.

“Benji, look. What I said I-”

“I remember what you said Ethan!” Benji spat. He pushed himself from his seat and swayed slightly at the rush of air. He shut his eyes and shock his head trying to push away the feeling of nausea. Gritting his teeth he looked over to Ethan, “I haven’t been able to forget it.”

“You know I didn’t mean any of that,” Ethan confessed stepping forward.

Benji stepped back with every step that Ethan took closer towards him. He flinched when Ethan raised his hand towards him and he could see how much his reaction hurt Ethan.

“You’ve saved me a call,” He said slowly stepping back to his desk. He closed the laptop and then slid it into the bag before slinging the arm over his head. He took a few breaths before turning back to a confused and anxious looking Ethan, “I’ve got to go away for a while.”

With that said he walked out of the room, not glancing back as he heard Brandt calling his name, he pulled his phone from his jeans pocket as he approached the elevator. As the doors closed he typed a quick message before dropping the phone ignoring the cracking sound it made as it hit the ground.

Brandt continued to call after Benji as Ethan joined him by his side. “What the hell just happened?” He asked turning to Ethan hoping the man had some explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's confussing I know. There's a point behind that so I hope you stick around to find out what it is. Also I'll hopefully not make you wait as long for the next chapter though it is a WIP so there's no telling how the muse will make me work. 
> 
> Please Review, They Help.


	3. Reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *enters room sheepishly while waving a white flag* Sorry. I know it's taken me an age to update this. But I wrote an extra long chapter for you to hopefully make up for the delay.

Chapter Three.

Four Days Earlier.

It should have been a relaxing, had his mind been in a brighter place he would have used the phase enjoyable, experience to return to his birth land but he couldn’t bring himself to let notions of nostalgia flood his mind.

Recently Benji been comparing London to what he’d imagine his circle of hell would be like. England, especially the streets of London, held so much pain and anger for him he found it hard to breath. He’d once held the belief that with time it would pass, he’d find a way to cope with the onslaught of pain but it had only increased. Like a monster feeding of his fear.

As he stepped off the train he tried not to think of the last time he had been here. About the events that followed the cursed meeting between his team and the enigmatic Miss Faust. He tried not to think of the fear he had felt. The dread that strangled his lungs after he had woken. The pain. The nightmares that had yet to wear away.

Trying to push though the crowds that seemed to encompass every mode of public transport felt like wading though thick mud with your feet tied together and your mind spinning. Stopping and starting like a sputtered car. Your feet dancing to no rhythm as you tried not to collided with the people whose eyes never left the screens in their hands. All the while no one made eye contact as the rule of ‘no eye contact’ screamed in their heads that had been ingrained since birth.

Once out of the station he felt a flood of air expand his chest.

What should have taken an eight minute walk from the station to his destination took him twenty-one to complete. His mind so preoccupied with musing and fears his pace had been slow and sluggish. He could have blamed the jet lag and lack of nourishing food but in truth he was scared and unsure.

Reaching the gates of the park, he headed in the direction of the Italian Gardens where he had prearranged to meet with his contact. Several of the metal benches where free. Sitting on the first he bench close to him, he looked over at the families gathered together to admire the beauty of the ponds. He looked over at a turist as they filled their camera’s memory with multiple snaps of the same water feature.

Slowly his mind drifted away from thoughts of his surroundings as he began to ponder of the mission he was about to embark on.

One part of his mind had been trying to convince the other it wasn’t too late. He could still call the team and plead for their help. He wouldn’t have to do this alone with their support. It wouldn’t be another chapter of his mistakes that plagued his sleep.

If they where here he would have to feel this much fear.

With them here he would even begin to think he might survive.

“Брате*,” he jumped out of his thought at the sound of the accented voice. So wrapped up in his own thoughts that the world had turned silent until her voice pieced the veil.

He stood and turned quickly causing his head to swirl in dizziness. He focused his eyes on the woman now standing in front of him. He spotted her old and weather leather, a thick brown envelope peaking out the top, on her shoulder. She wore her trademark grin as she studied him. Her arms outstretched inviting him for an embrace.

Anita Katrina had joined IMF the same year as Benji. Back then her accent had been thicker and her English ruff around the edges. They where both put though basic training together quickly becoming good friends over their mutual love over gadgets. When he went on to become one of the leading lab rats she went on to become one of the hardest working undercover field agents the organisation had ever seen.  
Until an accident left her with hearing problems and unsuited for field assignments.

Benji stepped into the hug. They both held onto each other for a few minutes. The unspoken comfort and warmth at being in the presence of someone you trusted but hadn’t seen in years washing over them both.

“It’s good to see you.” he said softly into her black hair. His voice was weaker then he thought as the sound caused his friend to flinch.

She reacted quickly. With her hand gentle against his shoulders, she pushed him back giving him a quick once over. “God you look awful. What they doing to you in the states?”

Benji smiled at her blunt honesty. It had been the first thing he had admired after their first meeting.

Admittedly he had to agree with her.

She was right. He did look awful. Although his clothing was neat, a pair of jeans a hoodie beneath a heavy jacket and a pair of shoes he should have thrown away an age ago, he couldn’t say the same about his features. His skin had turned a shade paler then he thought was possible, lips a lighter shade of red as they where hit by the cold air around them, his eyes burned from lack of sleep, deep bags under them ageing him further.

He could understand why she had described him as she did.

He stood in front of her feeling shameful as her examining eyes studied all the changes in his appearance since the last time they had met. It had been just after he had past the filed exam. She had called him inviting him for a celebratory lunch. Which turned into a double celebration after she had reviled her news.

“Hows Jamie?” he asked trying to stop her questions before she could ask them.

“He’s good. Missing his Uncle Benny,” she smiled at him catching his eyes for a second. Beneath the surface she could see the years of pain he had left behind. The pain he hid from the world under a mask he could never hold up around those close to him. “There’s a pile of drawings he’s been saving for you.”

Benji moved back to the bench. He let himself fall onto the seat as his heart began to feel heavy. Another name added to the list of people he had let down.

“I’ll visit. When this is all over,” he promised letting the ‘if’ hang unspoken between them. If he had survived when it was all over.

“Is it bad that I wished you weren’t here at all right now to promise that?”

Benji smiled at her, hoping it would ease her. It caused the opposite to happen. Sighing he turned to the pond in front of them. The ripples the fountain caused helped him to focus. Stop the dubt creeping in his mind from growing.

“You know I have to do this,” he whispered hoping she would hear his determination. “I have to end it.”

“There are other ways,” she tried to reason knowing it would fall on deaf ears. Ironic as she was the one with hearing problems.

They sat in silence for a while. Benji opening and closing his his mouth unsure if he wanted to talk more and desperate to end the silence.

The choice was taken from him as Anita stood. He watched her reposition the two bags on her shoulder after she pulled the envelope from her leather one. She held it in both hands, her eyes and Benji’s drawing to the words written on either side of the paper.

‘Rabbit’s Foot.’

Bending down she kissed him softly on his cheek before whispering, "Будь ласка, брат, будь обережним.**" With one final smile that didn’t reach her eyes she walked away.

Benji watched her go. The last opportunity to step away leaving his sight. He looked down at the envelope that Katrina had slipped into his hands. He stood and walked in the opposite direction his friend had taken.

It was night by the time he reached his next destination.

His attention drew on the door he was fast approaching. He should have felt much more wiriness then he did but pure determination was driving him forward.

He tore open the envelop and pulled the keys from inside out.

Instead of heading to the door he turned left towards the group of parked cars all huddled together. He knew which one the car key on the chain would fit and made a bee line towards it. The bright silver of the vauxhall hadn’t changed in the years since he had left London. He expected there to be more rust then there was but it seemed that someone had been caring for it religiously.

He opened the door and slide inside. Checking the time on his watch, he had about twenty minutes to wait if his intel was correct. Starting the engine he waited the aged heating system began to kick in warming his suddenly cold body.

Opening the glovebox he placed the envelope inside along with his mobile which had long since died. He moved his hand to the ash tray, pulling it open he hesitated before reaching for the gold chain he had left there. It was cold against his skin after he slipped it over his head. The ring hanging at the end dancing across his chest.

He checked his watch again and as if knowing the change in time he spotted the man he had been waiting for.

He pushed on the peddle speeding the car forward.

“Hay!” The man yelled as Benji sped past.

Not looking back but knowing he know had a shadow chasing after him, Benji drove in as straight a path as he could. He stopped in front a brightly lit pub smiling to himself at a rush of nostalgia hit him.

He turned the engine off, locked the door after exiting the car and walked into the pub. He didn’t order anything after the man asked him and just waited. His eyes watching the reflection of the door in the mirror behind the bar.

He counted down in his head. If he had calculated correctly and left an easy enough trail his tail should have been entering the pub in three, two one...

“Which one of you bastards nicked my brothers car!”

There was only half a dozen other people in the pub but he felt each of their eyes turn towards him. Benji looked back at the reflection of the now heavily breathing man in the mirror and closed his eyes.

This was it. There was no turning back now.

He turned slowly as the man began to step towards him.

The man stopped. His eyes widened his features slacking. The anger once evident in full force washed from his system upon after recognition struck him.

“Ben?”

“Hey bro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *- “Brother”  
> **- “Please, brother, be careful.”
> 
> I hope the translations are right. Please correct me if they’re wrong and say something completely different. 
> 
> Please review. They help


	4. Footage and Fuck Ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brandt spends a long time searching and Ethan makes a confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Life is as always a hugh annoyance to my need to write.  
> Also there's a few swear words in this chapter cause sometimes that's all that can come to mind. Also any mistakes I've missed with spelling and grammer are mine.

Four days earlier, IMF Headquarters, USA

“Run that last part by me again,” Brandt asked exasperated.

He wasn’t just in a state of tiredness. To make such a claim was beyond an understatement. He’d passed tiered long before Ethan had barged into the room with the sudden urge to confess. Before he’d had watched hours of footage with nothing to show from it. He’d gone beyond the simple expression of tired into another realm of the feeling. One that defined any explanation he could think of as it mixed with the seething anger bubbling within him. 

He’d been on his own for the best half of a day his eyes trained on a screen as they searched for their absent friend. 

It would’ve been a much easier process had it not been for Benji’s little trick. Unbeknownst to the majority of IMF employees, Benji had been working on a programme to mask people from facial recognition software. He didn’t know why the project was such a secret, or even why it was needed, but as soon as he had heard of Benji’s ‘disappearance’ Hunley deemed it important information to share with them. 

Hence his tasks. Using a more out of date version of the recognition programme he tracked Benji’s commute from the steps of their building to the streets of London. 

Ethan wanted him to study the entire journey saying it was to ‘be sure Benji’s hand wasn’t being foraced’. Which as far as Brandt had seen; he wasn’t. He had also said he wanted to make sure that wherever Benji was headed that he arrived there safely. Which he was something he wasn’t so sure about. 

After a third train journey, Benji had taken to the underground routes. After a further three trips he had boarded another tube train and then vanished between its departure and arrival at its station.

It was at this point he had called time for a break if only to stop his hands from shaking. 

As he rose from his chair all thoughts of rest and recovery went out the door with the arrival of Ethan closely followed by Jane and Luther. 

Which brought him back to the ever growing anger he felt pulsing though his veins. 

“I said that I-”

“Oh I heard you, I just wasn’t sure you did,” Brandt interrupted Ethan’s reply. He looked at the man with venom in his glare trying to convey every emotion he was filtering though. Disgust. Anger. Betrayal. Vengeance. Any and all emotion that he could feel over Ethan’s rash comments he knew Benji no doubt had also felt. This thought had only only amplified their feelings inside of him. “I mean of all the brainless stunts you’ve pulled, this is the most reckless.”

He wouldn't admit it now not even under torture but after the words had left his lips Brandt regretted them. He could see plainly the clear on Ethan’s ace but that wouldn’t silence the fire inside of him. Nor would it stop him from pushing the man further. 

“I understand your anger Will,” Ethan replied with gritted teeth, “I’m going to let that slide.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Brandt’s voice dripped with sarcasm. He rose from his seat once again stepping towards Ethan, “Ever so kind of you to consider someone else’s feelings for a change. Did you think about Benji’s when you-”

“Enough!” Ethan yelled.

“Did Benji say that too?” Brandt knew the question had the desired effect when he saw Ethan’s fist clench tight. 

The sight of the two men almost enough to cause Jane to laugh. It was similar to the sight of two gorillas fight it out for dominance. The two of them stood just inches apart their muscles tensed prepared to fight and their chests heaving with held back rage. She knew if she allowed the two of them to continue, someone will surely end up with bloodied knuckles. 

“Brandt!” She called grabbing both men’s attention and instantly taking charge of the room. With a steadying breath she calmly said, “Take a walk.”

For a few tense seconds, Brandt contemplated staying and confronting Ethan further but that was before he glanced over to Jane. The steel expression on her face left no room for him to argue against her. Without a further word he left the room being sure to cause the door to slam behind him in a childish manor. The first time he prepared to leave the room he intended to get some rest, all thoughts of that had flown away the second after Ethan’s first words. Now he needed a way to release all the anger collecting in his muscle. He headed to the gym. 

After the echo of the slamming door had silenced Ethan turned to Jane ready to thank her. The words died on his lips before they could even be born. She was looking at him with fire in her eyes the same fire he had seen there when she thought about Sabine. 

“I didn’t do it for you,” she said her voice sharp as ice. Then she too left the room. 

Ethan all but collapsed into the nearest seat. He leaned forward his hands coming up to run though his hair. Shaking his head he gave out an exasperated sigh. He never felt this confused about something. This torn up over an action he knew was right at the time and now he was just so discombobulated. 

“He took it the wrong way,” Ethan whispered to the only other occupant still in the room. 

“What other way could he have taken it Ethan?” Luther asked honestly. 

He looked up at his friend but couldn’t maintain the eye contact. He’d taken the seat that Brandt had previously been using while sat in-front of the computer. The whole time that Ethan had been talking he’d sat in silence and stature still listening with an unreadable expression on his face. He’d always been the one hardest to read on his team yet the one most like an open book. 

“He didn’t- I didn’t mean for it to be...” He couldn't finish the sentence. For the last few weeks he’d been repeating a lie in his head to ease the guilt. That lie no longer held any power to control his remorse. He had no foundation left to rely on expect the facts. And the facts held uncomfortable truths. “He took it the wrong way.” 

“You should’ve known that coming from you it would break him,” Luther said with sorrow.

In truth Ethan did. He’d known even before he’d started speaking to Benji that day. Hell he knew even before he walked into the room what his actions, what his words, would do to Benji and yet it didn’t stop him from saying it. From doing it.

Again he ran his hands though his hair tugging slightly at the ends trying to force his mind to function further then repeating the conversation in his head. Nothing had been able to shift the broken look in Benji’s eyes. The hurt. The confusion. The faith he had in his friend breaking. Benji could never truly hide his deep feelings that well. Not the true ones and not from his friends. And when he did try one single look deep into his eyes and they where there. Clearer then morning sky. 

“I fucked up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I am a great believer in suspense. (tries to hide her evil laugher).  
> Please review, they help. x


	5. Family History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two Dunn brothers have a chat up after years of being apart. 
> 
> (Please read warning in chapter notes.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: in this chapter there are some mentions of child abuse and alcohol misuse. If you would find any of this triggering please do not read.

Family History

Four days earlier- London night

Glass fragments scattered along the table top threatened to draw blood as they bit into his skin.

Two hours had passed since the two brothers saw each other face to face for the first time in years.

Two hours of broken glass and shouted abuse since it was too late for Benji to turn back.

He was grateful for one thing, it seemed the bar man must have known the kind of anger that Albert boiled continuously with for he quickly called for everyone to leave the pub. A few had listened to the warning and began to leave but the majority only fled after the second piece of glass had been smashed. Thankfully no one had been hurt while his brother had his hissy fit. He didn’t want to be the reason for another person to land in a hospital bed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Then followed the hour and a half of bottle after bottle, glass after glass, and the odd photo frame thrown in his general direction and against the walls of the pub. A few shards would occasionally fly past him, or the sound would be too loud he couldn’t help but flinch in fear, but for the most part he sat feeling numb.

“You never called,” Albert hissed as he opened another beer bottle he’d stolen from behind the bar. “Never wrote a bleeding letter even. Phone calls never got answered. Like you disappeared or something. I thought you got killed and no one told us.” 

“I’m sorry,” Benji said softly trying to catch his brothers eyes to read the anguish that they held.

Albert shook his head avoiding the soulful eyes of his younger sibling. “Sorry doesn’t much cut it Bruv.”

“If I could have called, you know I would have,” he lied. He must have grown good at lying for Albert didn’t call him out for it. When they where younger he had always been too scared to tell a lie around his brother. Always scared he would have been caught in the lie and punished in some way.

The bottle in Albert’s hand was now half empty. He wasn’t near the state of feeling drunk. He was two more drinks away before that would blissfully happen. He had, however, reached the point where he could face his problems the way any normal human would.

For the first time since either man had entered the bar the two brothers looked each other eye to eye. Benji had seen pictures of his brothers ageing appearance but this would be the first time in years that Albert had seen him. He was surprised he had even recognised him when he stepped into the pub with the mist of anger already coating his vision.

“You’ve changed,” Albert noted as he all but feel into the seat next to Benji’s. “You look more tired now then you used too.”

There was likely a lot of things for his brother to notice that had changed with Benji. No longer did he have the ‘pudgy’ frame that he was constantly teased over. Even his hair colour had altered over the years due to the constant need to change appearance as an agent. He also had muscles now instead of ‘nerd arms’ that almost rivalled Al’s own.

The biggest change in him wasn’t even visible. Although it wasn’t a large count, not like other agents had or even Albert’s own, he carried the weight of blood from every person he had no choice but to kill. It’d always be there in the back of his thoughts constantly reminding him he’s not as innocent as he was before he left.

“So have you. You look like you finally fit the old man name,” Benji said with a half hearted smile. He relaxed slightly as the old joke between the two of them had the desired effect on Albert. The two laughed together comfortably feeling almost as if nothing had changed in the slightest.

“You can talk Saint Benjamin. You still using that childish nickname?” Albert snickered back. He brought the bottle back up to his lips with a smile still on his face. Before taking a swig of the bitter beer his features became serious as he glanced quickly at Benji before asking, “So, When did you get out then?”

“Not too long ago,” Benji lied again. Each new lie coming to him easier then the last.

“Not too long ago,” Albert repeated with a nod of his head.

At first it seemed like he was going to let it lie there but then there was the telltale grind of teeth. The tightened grip on an already tight hold of the bottle. If memory served correct the next step would be another broken object followed by more shouting. 

Benji prepared himself emotionally for this step. Physically tensed ready for the shattering off glass and the abusive language.

But nothing came.

Instead Albert was looking towards the ceiling taking deep breath after deep breath. 

Benji watched stilled in the moment and uncertain as to what he should do. This was new ground he was unsure off. He wasn’t sure which he feared more. This new change or the prospect of delayed anger setting in.

Before he had even learned to walk on his own, his Mother and Father had taught him to ‘never ever anger your brother.’ And if by some fault of his own or another to run as fast and as far as he could. To not land himself in Albert’s destructive path while he raged.

Even before the traumas of their youth, Albert had struggled with his control over his anger. Sadness, happiness, fear and others he could deal with like any other human would. But he seemed to take an almost comic book transformation when he dealt with something that angered him. More then once had someone unfortunately compared him to a literary character. 

Countless doctors hadn't been able to help them find a way to get it control. Or even figure out why his mind found it hard to cope with the emotion. After a while their Parents stopped searching for help or answers and accepted things as they where. They had one 'normal' child and another one with issues. They never said anything of the kind to the two brothers but Benji had seen it in their fathers eyes. Acceptance that they couldn't get a quick fix for Albert's flaws.

They died not long after that. 

So Benji learned to live both with a constant fear but also with a promise he made himself. He may never learn the reason for Albert's full force anger but he wouldn't let that get in the way of caring for him. Of loving him like any sibling should love their fresh and blood. 

Everyone had their flaws after all.

"Not too long," he repeated again his voice tense. He released a huffed breath before rising from his seat and turning to the bar. With both hands placed on the metal edging he began to kick the wooded sides muttering two words under his breath, "Not long." He gave one last hard and loud kick before stopping and turning back to look at Benji. 

With every kick he delivered to the bar Benji had involuntarily jerked. 

This seemed to deeply unsettle Albert whose head fell backwards as he returned to taking deep breath after deep breath 

“I’m sorry little brother,” He said after a minute of calming breaths. He stepped closer to Benji and raised one hand toward him.

Benji tensed prepared for the slap that never came. In another surprising change from the person he once knew, Albert pulled him forward into his chest as he firmly wrapped both his arms around Benji in an awkward hug.

After the shock wore away, Benji stood up from his own chair to return the hug ignoring the drops of tears he could feel slip from his eyes and the slightly growing patch of damp he could feel on his shoulder where Albert's head had settled. 

"I was a shite brother to you wasn't I," Albert whispered. 

"You weren't that bad," Benji tried to say softly. 

“You don’t have to lie. Fuck, I shoved you inside a bloody washing machine and left ya there Ben,” his voice cracked as he spoke. his hands returning to his head and pulling at his short hair. “I can understand why you decided to block us off.”

An ache began to spread across Benji’s chest at the mention of the washing machine incident. The hole spread over his entire mind unlocking memories and fears he had much rather left forgotten in the past. 

“I didn’t intend too,” Benji’s own voice wasn’t strong. Though he had yet allowed the tears to slip from his eyes he could feel them building up at the corner, threatening to slip at any moment. “Something happened, I-”

“Did someone hurt you?” Albert interrupted pushing Benji forward with both hands on his shoulders starring at him intently with a scary look in his eyes. “If anyone laid a hand on you I swear I-”

“No one hurt me,” it was Benji’s turn to interrupt this time. His brothers nose flared warning him this was the first lie he didn’t believe. "Okay someone did.But my friend sorted him out. And hopefully now…Hopefully now they're somewhere that they can’t hurt anyone else. So it’s good.“

For a few heartbeats Benji wasn't sure what would happen. But his words seemed to have settled the anger in Albert who stepped back and retook his seat. Benji followed and did the same. 

Neither of them looked at the other both too occupied with their drinks in front of them that suddenly seemed interesting. While Benji sipped at the bottled water he'd been carrying around since the plane over Albert downed the remainder of his beer. 

"Where are you going to stay?" Albert asked while spinning the now empty bottle on the table top. 

"I highly doubt my apartment is available," Benji smiled. He'd all but forgotten how much he had loved the small, crapped, and in desperate need of a builders attention apartment he once lived in in England. It wasn't a nice place but it tore his heart to leave it behind when he left. "I didn't really know what I was going to do now. Just wanted to see you."

"I'm touched," Albert smiled playfully slapping Benji on his back. He huffed out a laugh before saying seriously, "Stay at mine tonight then we'll find you somewhere." 

Benji thanked him and the two smiled at each other before returning their focus to the bar. Benji began to count the various unbroken bottles behind the bar and admired how many shards the mirror had smashed into. 

He was thankful so far that, in a mission sense of things, everything with this reunion had been going smoothly. Neither of them had tried to punch the other. No one had been hurt and it seemed that he was going to be welcomed back with arms opened. With any luck no suspicion would develop. The lies of the past twenty years wouldn't be questioned. His time away wouldn't be questioned. He would be able to complete this mission and be back at HQ by months end. 

But then Albert asked, "So what brings you back now?"

And before Benji could reply a voice from behind him answered. A voice that he wasn't prepared to speak to again yet. Someone whose voice made his head jerk back suddenly sending a jolt of pain though his body.

"I invited him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter took a different turn then I originally thought it would. I'll prop come by later and change a few things when I've got my own computer and not using a tablet to write this. 
> 
> Also sorry that it's taken so long to get it posted. It seems my RL is going to continuously get in the way of my need to write.
> 
> Oh well thats life. 
> 
> Please review they help.

**Author's Note:**

> I sat down to write something different and ended up with this. Hugh thanks to both [Snovyda](http//snovyda.tumblr.com) . and [Phenixy-Dunnhart](http://phenixy-dunnhart.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for convincing me to write and post something. You two are the best.


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